Sunday, September 30, 2007

Cigarette ash blanket and Agent Orange

Christ. My body's really suffering now. I think I'm being irresponsible. I probably am, any ambiguity is a tell. I'm being irresponsible. 58 beers litter my apartment, the one next to my computer is a little mangled and full because somebody tried to rip it in half last night. God bless them. There is a thin layer of cigarette ash covering most everything. Random inexplicable bits of plastic remind me what a pain this is going to be to clean up. The filth kind of nags and reminds you of yr hangover more than you would like. It was fun though. Great weekend as far I'm concerned. Somebody called me a cock-fag last night. It was remarkable. I have to interview Agent Orange. What the fuck do you say to Agent Orange? I was told to make bullets of my questions for Agent Orange. Here's what I got so far:

Agent Orange!


How are you?

Me, I'm Great!

Yeah, Bloodstains was pretty cool.

Thank you.

Good bye.

I'll call and stumble my way through this soon. In other news my leg hurts and if anybody knows how to get the Black Lips to come here for Devils night let me know.

-Good Hunting

Bari A. Khan

Monday, September 17, 2007

Hogan Knows Shit

I plan on my first foray into investigative journalism is to follow the "Hogan Knows Best" VH1 show. "Hogan Knows Best" if you don't know is a show following around the lives of Hulk Hogan and addresses how he, a now retired wrestler has to deal with normal folk problems like raising a vapid non-person daughter, and an idiot car enthusiast son who is 2 months away from rehab and becoming a paparazzi hero, and his wife who is some broad who banged Hulk Hogan at least twice. My problem is with that the show is that it seems to me that the producers tell those people everything to say and do. I'm gonna call all the locations they visit, restaurants, hotels, etc. and find out how scripted the whole thing is. Hogan has made a career out of insulting our intelligence, making not only a mockery out of professional wrestling, but now reality tv. This double transgression will not stand and Hogan will be exposed as the poser he is. I will be petitioning Macho Man Randy Savage (long time Hulk hater)for full funding of my investigation. Hogan yr a lame old fuck, quit taking up precious VH1 airtime when awesome shows like The Pick-Up Artist only get played 4 or 5 times a day. Hulkamania is a dead dream, the ideology convoluted and broken. He will fall.

-Good Hunting

Bari A. Khan

Sunday, September 9, 2007

It seems quite natural and painfully predictable that the next post would be, "I'm back on the wagon", or off the wagon, or whatever one has the booze on it. It's ok for now. There is good news though, good news like this : (whenever I write a :, it makes Kurt Vonnegut sad) I've started Journalism major at Wayne State and am really enjoying myself there. I've quit Caruso Caruso which is sad, but unavoidable. If someone from wyrk actully read this blog I'd stay so someone from wyrk say fire hydrant to me, and I'll wyrk for there for ever. I had been pestering and bothering Keith Doosenberry for sometime now and it seems to of paid off. I'm reviewing Thurston Moore's new record for Real Detroit, the record comes out sept 18th and the review should follow shortly afterwyrds. I have a hat now. It's going to take some getting used to but I ask you to take this journey with me and see where it ends up. Also if anyone wants my cat they can have her, she can be found on under the fat cats in party hats page, she's the one with the Devo hat covering her face. Oh yeah, so William Gibson right? Awesome I know. His new book Spook Country is amazing so far. Completely up to par if not better than Pattern Recognition. He has an amazing ability to tap in to all our sympathy's to electronics and technology. Like this the opener for the book " ...She turned on the bedside lamp, illuminating the precious evening's empty can of Asahi Draft, from the Pink Dot, and her sticker-encrusted PowerBook, closed and sleeping. She envied it." Great huh? I had written this around a month before I read the book, scouts honor "

Their is a gold hum from the standby electronics, the faint orange glow of the led hibernate light rocks me in to obscurity. Brining forth many harsh realities about co dependence that I would rather not hear. The heat sink fans are a deep scolding exhale. I’m jealous of the stand bye.

I guess I'll just consider the similarity validation that I'm doing the right thing.

Good Hunting
- Bari A. Khan